Letter to the editor: Mother sees truth, seeks justice for Sabrina

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Amanda and Chris Howard of Perry have three children, from left, Abby Howard, 13, Grace Howard, 9, and Blake Howard, 4.

To the editor:

One year ago today, Sabrina passed away, and the next morning I would wake up to the news of what happened. I would see comments about Misty and Marc, and I would stick up for them, saying there was no way they were guilty of what they were accused of. I would say my kids were treated great there.

I would get a message later in the day from Hannah Hilliyard from KCCI, asking if I would do a interview, and I said yes, and I stuck up for them on TV.

Then I would start seeing more things coming out, how much she weighed, the horror that happened in that house. Then my 9-year-old daughter Grace would say, “Mommy, I need to talk to you,” and I said, “Okay, sweetie, talk,” and she told me everything she saw.

I would talk with a few other parents from the daycare, and at this point I started realizing I made a mistake sticking up for them. I took Grace to a counselor the next day, and Grace told her everything. The councelor said, “I need to report this to DHS. I will give you 24 hours, but that’s it. After that, I have to call.”

She asked if I would call the police or if she needed to, and I said I would. I called the police the next morning and talked to Perry Police Chief Eric Vaughn and then we went in that afternoon to talk with detectives. I left my 3-year-old son Blake with a friend.

The detectives were amazing. They said we would need to go to Blank Children’s Hospital and get it recorded by the child abuse department, I said ok and took my daughter up there. Once again, the were amazing people who made Grace feel at home.

Brian, Heather and I got the idea to plant a tree in honor of Sabrina, and a little while later another Heather reached out to me about putting the bench by the tree and what I thought.I loved the idea.

I sometime later contacted Hannah Hilliyard from KCCI and asked if I could go to go back on camera and retract my statement about sticking up for them, and she said yes.

I also started suffering severe depression and blaming myself, so I started seeing a counselor along with Grace. I blamed myself and didn’t understand as a mother how I could miss this. It ate me up to the core. I still struggle with it some days, but overall I am doing better, and so is Grace.

I also found out after Grace went to counseling that they abused my son and other kids, too. I had a lot of anger for the Rays, and I didn’t understand how someone could do that to a child or children. I referred to them as monsters. I will always wish I could have saved her. I will always wish I could have protected my own children.

One year later, Sabrina’s tree is blooming, which is so beautiful, and her bench looks amazing by her tree. I am back to being the mom I always was. Grace is thriving and doing amazing. Blake doesn’t remember any of it, and I am so thankful for that.

I am more aware of child abuse now, and I think I always will be. I don’t blame myself anymore, but I will be happy when justice is served to the Rays. I have forgiven them, and I have stopped trying to understand why they did what they did. I gave it to God and they can face judgement from him when they depart this world.

I saw at firsthand how a small community can come together for a child no one knew very well, and for that it was amazing. I am so thankful for the ones I met through this, but I wish it would have been under better circumstances. Losing a child is the worse circumstance possible.

My hope is that this year as a community we grow even more by not forgetting Sabrina — because that will never happen — and by turning the negative into a positive by helping out other families that need help. It takes a village to raise a child.

I will never forget Sabrina. She changed me for the better and made me a better mom. She left a legacy to last a lifetime.

Grace did say at the Candle Light Vigil last night, “Mommy, I wish Sabrina could have got her wish and had a family that loved her. Mommy, I wish she could have been allowed to play with the other kids like she wanted.”

Me too, honey. Me too. A child should never have to wish for a family to love her or wish to play with other kids. That should just be a part of growing up. Children are our biggest blessings from God.

Amanda Howard
Perry

2 COMMENTS

  1. If you want to prevent more incidences like this, push for closer oversight of home-schooled kids. I don’t know when home schooling got to be accepted or legal but if Sabrina would have been in a classroom with other kids andteachers, this never would have happened. Someone would have noticed something was wrong, and she wouldn’t have suffered and died. I still find it hard to believe that something this horrendous happened in small-town Perry. I hope these horrible people never see the light of day again.

  2. From all I have read, the DHS was notified but did not follow up in time due to their heavy load. These people were deceptive and horrible. She was not “homeschooled,” she was abused. I am appalled that this happened to the Howard family and all the other families affected by this “daycare.” What a positive, healing article. Thank you, Amanda, for sharing. May the Lord continue to show you the healing and peace you have described.

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