Relay for Life yard sale includes royal purple, gem-encrusted thrones

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Volunteering their time at the Relay for Life of Northern Dallas County yard sale Saturday morning were Perry residents, from left, Kenia Alarcon, Maritza Alarcon, Tracy Iles, Kael Iles, 11, PHS junior McKenna Iles and Pat Elsberry.

An empurpled and jewel-encrusted commode, accommodated to local landscaping, is in the future for some northern Dallas County residents in the Flushing Out Cancer program of the Relay for Life of Northern Dallas County.
An empurpled and jewel-encrusted commode, accommodated to local landscaping, is in the future for some northern Dallas County residents in the Flushing Out Cancer program of the Relay for Life of Northern Dallas County.

Saturday morning’s yard sale in the parking lot of the Rowley Masonic Community’s old wing featured many standard items, the clothes and toys and knick knacks, but a little away from these common things, in a kind of royal sphere above and apart, stood a┬ápair of purple toilets.

This royal pair seemed uninclined to address a commoner, but the volunteers at the Saturday sale, including Kenia Alarcon and Maritza Alarcon, Tracy Iles and her kids, Kael Iles, 11, and PHS junior McKenna Iles, and Pat Elsberry, were happy to explain.

These jewel-encrusted and flower-bedecked commodes, they said, will soon be seen adorning the local landscaping of one or another of our neighbors’ yards as part of the Flushing Out Cancer program of the Relay for Life of Northern Dallas County.

The program’s policies are simple: Homeowners who find the purple commode incommodious can have it hauled away in exchange for a $10 donation to the Relay for Life.

For an additional $10, donors can have the porcelain pulchritude removed form their yard and placed in the yard of of some one of their “friends,” since friends have been known to give one another a lot of . . . gifts.

People wishing to preserve the spotless purity of their outdoor environs can purchase toilet insurance for $30 and rest assured that their reputations will always pass the sniff test.

All proceeds from the purple potty program support the Relay for Life of Northern Dallas County, which celebrates the lives of cancer victims and survivors and funds cancer research.

The American Cancer Society, which sponsors the Relay for Life, estimates there will be about 1.7 million new cancer cases diagnosed in 2016 and about 600,000 cancer deaths in the U.S.

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