About 55 ladies attended a Mother’s Day Tea Friday at the Spring Valley campus of the Perry Lutheran Homes.
Committee members Juli Haberer, Deb Koelln and Alma Blougher organized the event, with the message: “A special tribute to the bond between mothers and daughters.”
A wide variety of pastries, mints and beverages were served, and several few family members spoke about experiences they encountered and praised their mothers. A number of readings were also given, including Spring Valley resident Carmen Staker’s reading of a poem entitled “Mother.”
Haberer and Blougher alternated in reading the 15 reasons why a child needs her mother’s unconditional affection to help her grow and mature. While grandma, aunt, cousins, and friends can raise children, replacing a mom in a child’s life is never easy.
1. Your children should come first. In a world with 150 things to do each day and not enough time, they are your priority.
2. Kindness always matters. People may have less than you, but that doesn’t mean that they are less than you. Be generous and eager to give back.
3. Children learn how to treat their spouses by watching their parents.
4. A mom knows that her children need good food to grow and be healthy.
5 Setting goals is essential, and a daughter watches her mom tackle each goal she sets.
6. In a world where you can be anything, be kind. Kindness is a gift to the world.
7. Maturity comes with age as well as wisdom. Daughters don’t mature overnight. It is a process that comes with age. However, lessons are taught as the mother watches the daughter grow. In return, a daughter watches her mother grow and mature as she ages.
8. It’s believed that to have a good life and career, you must develop social intelligence. With time, a daughter will learn to evaluate and influence other people’s emotions. Even during the most challenging times, getting along with others helps to mold your character into a mature woman.
9. A hard work ethic. A mother never stops even when she’s tired, sad or sick. They aspire to a clean house, laundry being done, and that there is food in house.
10. It’s okay to cry. When the world gets to be too much to bear, a mother’s love teaches her daughter that it’s okay to cry. Then dry the tears and get back to work. Though life may hand you blows that make you feel like quitting, you keep going.
11. Regardless of what you believe, it’s essential to be in tune with your spiritual self.
12. Mothers teach their daughters to stick up for your family. There is no space for bullies or troublemakers to cause division within the family.
13. Remember, it’s okay to pamper yourself. A mother’s love shows you that sometimes you must take the day off and pamper yourself. You will learn to love these days when you get to pour into yourself instead of others.
14. Live for today and don’t worry about tomorrow. Anxiety and depression can easily creep into your life if you allow it. It’s useless to let anxieties of the future inhibit your potential to have a great day today.
15. Finally, your mom taught you that you must be thankful for everything that you have. You must count every blessing the universe has handed you, and you should never be jealous of anyone else’s success. Your mother taught you that material items would perish, but true love and devotion to your family and friends will never be forgotten.
Koelln explained that adult daughters face dilemmas of what to do and also how not to hurt mom’s feelings. Taking care of our parents and doing it the right way is important, but how do you know what they expect from you? Here are a few pieces to the puzzle.
- Communication – By talking to Mom patiently and openly, you are giving her time and listening to what she has to say. you can get a better idea of what she needs.
- Understanding and acceptance – Parents do not mean to hurt us or it’s not like they are not thankful for all that we have been doing for them. But as children we should understand that whatever we are doing is what WE understand to be good for them. We must take their opinion and accept it without getting hurt or offended.
- Respect – As they age, they may get sensitive and even the slightest of things hurt their feelings
- Companionship — They wonder why no one spends time with them, they miss company, they have nothing to do, no one to talk to, etc.
- Involvement — They want their children to involve them in conversations, decisions or any other big and small thing. This also gives them a sense of importance that their decisions still have some value or they are still important. Also keeping their self esteem/self confidence up.
- Financial independence — At their age, parents do not like asking for money every time from their own children. Sure, you pay for most of the things, but your parents also need some financial freedom.
- Engagement – Newspaper, gardening, walks, sleeping, watching T.V, usually these few things become your elderly parent’s only source of entertainment and the only engagements they are left with. Unoccupied days give them sleepless nights. They have limited mobility and interaction. But you can help/encourage them learn a new hobby or join some class or take them out for dinners church or do simple chores, anything that can keep them looking forward.
Be a good advocate with your parents while speaking to the medical staff and analyzing their health issues. They need your care and attention. You should avoid making them uncomfortable by smothering them with attention or micromanaging their lives. These are just some common things that the elderly parents miss and want from you or want their children to know.
